Hello and Welcome!

There was a time in my life when I was stretched too thin, trying to do everything for everyone, and it left me way off-balance. This led to developing unhealthy or unwanted behaviors as coping mechanisms to deal with the stress or discomfort and I found myself feeling stuck with these habits that made me feel out of control.

• You desperately want to stop, but you keep going back to this unwanted behavior time and time again

• Friends and family don’t get it; they tell you to “just stop” (like it’s that easy)

• You’re fed up with the frustration, embarrassment, and shame of it, but you don’t know how to breakout of  the cycle

• You Googled how to quit, and tried the suggested hacks, but it didn’t really work

• You’re battling burnout or overwhelm, which leaves you with no energy to fight these urges or patterns

• You worry if others really knew how much you struggle, they would judge you or think you’re crazy

I’ve been in your shoes. Personally, I struggled with a number of unwanted behaviors and unhealthy coping tools, but the one that had the biggest impact on me was trichotillomania, or hair pulling. 

I’ve learned so much on my own journey, and now I want to share this knowledge and empowerment to others who are struggling with unwanted or frustrating habits. 

I used to feel like I needed to be everything to everyone and do all the things.

I always ended up at the bottom of my (unreasonably long) to-do list, which was kind of like not making it on the list at all. Everyone else's needs came before mine.

When things didn’t go well, I told myself I just needed to try harder, be more efficient, trust the process, etc. From the outside, my life looked great - happy marriage, healthy kids, a great job- but I was miserable on the inside.

It comes down to this- life is stressful and we all need ways to cope. When we try to ignore our own needs, stay busy without taking time to recharge, or feel stifled by those around us, our body and brain start to look for ways to soothe us. These unwanted behaviors are a normal and expected result when your brain and body are off-balance.

And guess what - these behaviors aren't trying to ruin your life; they're trying to protect you. They're just a little misguided.

For me, I had all kinds of ways to deal with stress. I grasped for more control with unhealthy eating habits and perfectionism, and I sought comfort in hair pulling (although I definitely didn’t recognize it as comforting back then!).

After searching for answers in conferences, retreats, workshops, self-help books, therapy, coaching, and reflection, I acquired an enormous list of strategies for behavior change... and realized that strategies are helpful, but they alone are not enough. With time and lived experience, I learned that freedom we so desperately want requires shifting our mindset and addressing our negative emotions around the behavior. 

Simply put, the strategies won’t work without acceptance and self-compassion.

When we resist the parts of ourselves that we don't like, it just adds to the tension that these behaviors are desperately trying to relieve us of. Beating ourselves up for being stuck in this cycle just gives the behaviors more work (i.e. soothing) to do.

Another important lesson I've learned is that freedom from an unwanted behavior is not just about stopping the behavior. 

There are 2 parts to this equation - the behavior and how you feel about it.

Addressing either one (or both) will give you freedom from it. 

How did my life change when I started using new coping strategies, acceptance, and self-compassion to show up for myself? 

I forgave myself for all my perceived failures and cast off the shame that was holding me back. Then, I started to flourish professionally, show up for my kids on a whole new level, and connect with an out-of-this-world partner who respects and values me, even on my worst days. I learned to respect my body for all the amazing things it does to keep me alive and I am no longer haunted by hair pulling. I practice the strategies that work for me and I release what doesn't serve me.

To be clear- this doesn't mean my life is perfect now; far from it! But when challenges show up, I choose to be empowered, accepting, and self-compassionate. I cope in ways that I feel good about. And all of this helps me stay (mostly) balanced, despite the chaos that surrounds me.

If you want to experience balance and the freedom to choose how you cope rather than your body and brain choosing for you, click the link below to schedule a free 30-minute Breakthrough Strategy Session to talk about how I can support you.

I’ve been coaching clients in a clinical setting for several years, and during that time I’ve learned a lot about how people “work” and what coaching they respond to. I hold an entirely judgement-free space and I preach radical self-acceptance, which leads to deep healing. 

My philosophy is simple: 

I believe everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have. 

If your current situation has you feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and relying on coping tools that you don’t like, it’s not a reflection of your capabilities – you just need better tools.

I can teach you those tools.

I have a master's degree in physician assistant studies 

and I've worked in behavioral health since 2017.

I’ve also taken courses or received certifications related to: 

• Cognitive behavioral strategies

• Recovering from BFRBs (like hair pulling, skin picking, nail biting)

• Strategies for living with ADHD

• Internal Family Systems

• And much more

• At 40+, I’m living my best hair life with wigs (check out my other website trichedouttresses.com!)

• I have over 100 houseplants (not including propagations) 

• I’m living proof that someone with ADHD can be sucessf– wait, what was I saying?

• I have a girl-crush on Adriene Mishler (Yoga with Adriene on YouTube)

• As a divorce present to myself, I got a tattoo of a Chinese character that translates to “real me” 

If all of this (or what you skimmed on your way here) sounds like what you need in your life, lets get started! I can't wait to see your progress!